Alpha Rules E-course: Episode 4

Take the Lead:
How to Get a Date When You Call Her

Carlos & Dean's Desk - Sunday, 11:57 AM:

In our powerful new book The Alpha Rules we explain the 21 principles that Alpha Men live by. Once you learn these rules and start living by this new code, your overall lifestyle is going to receive a turbo boost.

You’re also going to gain a new perspective on women, and a complete arsenal of tactics and techniques, that are going to “turn the tables” and put you in the driver’s seat.

You won’t be like most guys, who go through life thinking women are a “mystery” that that they’ll never understand.

The reality, as we explain in the book, is that most women are actually quite predictable and manageable. The key to managing women, and making them feel bonded to you, is to project the sense that you are confident and in control.

This doesn’t mean having big muscles or a million bucks in the bank. We’re talking about being rock-solid in an emotional sense. When she gets stressed out over something small, and her emotions turn into turbulent waves, you’ve got to be the shoreline that her waves break against.

The mistake most guys make is that they get caught up in a woman’s emotions, rather than learning how to “surf” the stormy waters.

On a micro level, there are all kinds of everyday situations we face with women where we face this test. We can either show confidence, or act like a “Beta Man” and surrender our control to her. (You might think you’re just being easygoing and agreeable, but this is when women tune out! They want a LEADER, not a lackey.)

Here’s an example. A student of ours, Bob, had formed a belief that women were “flaky” in general. He would meet girls and get phone numbers, but when it came time to get a date, they would make up excuses or back out at the last minute.

So let’s say Bob meets a girl at a bar and gets her digits. They make tentative plans to "hang out" sometime.

Bob waits two days before calling her (even though he’s been thinking of her constantly, and the thought of calling her makes his blood pressure rise). He wonders how to get a date with this girl, but has no plan.

Finally, he picks up the phone, takes a deep breath, and dials her number…

LISA: “Hello?”
BOB: “Hey, it’s Bob. How are you?”
LISA: “Bob…?”
BOB: “We met at the bar, remember?”
LISA: “OK…hey, how are you.”
BOB: “I was thinking, if you’re not doing anything tonight, we should hang out.” 
LISA: “Tonight’s not good. I have to work really early tomorrow.”
BOB: “No problem. Howbout tomorrow night, are you free?
LISA: “Um, I’m not sure...”
BOB: “Well howabout dinner on Sunday.”
LISA: “Where do you want to eat?”
BOB: “I don’t know, what kind of food do you like?”
LISA: “All kinds.”
BOB: “Howabout Mexican food?”
LISA: “Nah, I don’t like Mexican.”
BOB: “OK, we can find another place.”
LISA: “Look, I have to take this other call…I’ll give you a call sometime, ok? We’ll do something.”
BOB: “Cool, sounds great…”
LISA: “Bye.” 

CLICK.

Game over.

I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to hear, she never did call back—and when Bob called her back (three times), it went straight to voicemail.

So Bob continues with his false belief that all women are “flakes,” without realizing that he blew it on several levels. 

Mistake #1: He failed to introduce himself with energy and excitement.

When you’ve only met a woman one time, never assume she’s going to immediately remember you. She could have met a half-dozen different guys that night at the bar. Jog her memory with a clever reference to a joke you shared, or an interesting detail that she revealed to you.

(If you follow the advanced conversational tactics we explain in The Alpha Rules, you will have struck her as an original, dynamic, interesting guy that she is bound to remember—but never assume it.)

If you want to get a date with a woman, she has to actually believe it's going to be fun. No, really, you'd be amazed how many guys forget this key point.

Mistake #2: He went into the phone call without a plan.

During that first encounter when he conversed with her and got her phone number, he should have gathered some basic information on her that would help him get a first date.

What is her work schedule like?

What type of food is she into?

What does she do for fun?

No, you don’t need to ask her all these questions, as if you’re conducting an interview. As we explain below, there’s much craftier way of gathering this info.

Mistake #3: He failed to show her that he was a leader.

During that phone call, as the seconds ticked off and it became increasingly obvious that Bob had NO game plan in mind, any interest she had in him was rapidly dwindling.

(Her finely-tuned female radar is programmed to weed out the guys who are weak and wishy-washy. At the same time, it is programmed to respond favorably to guys who project confidence and leadership qualities.)

In The Alpha Rules we’re going to show you how to present yourself as a leader in ALL social situations. When you lead, other people (men and women) instinctually follow.

When you’re vague and ambiguous, the type of guy who “goes with the flow,” you don’t inspire anyone. In fact, you turn them off to your personality.

Furthermore, when setting it up to get a date, it should sound like your plan is going to happen with or without her. You are already going to visit that sushi restaurant (or whatever your plan involves), and you are simply extending the invite for her to join you.

(Another benefit of this tactic: If she declines for whatever reason, it doesn’t feel like a rejection, since you were going to go anyway.) 

So now, let’s rewind the situation and watch how the Alpha Man handles it. 

BOB: “Hey Lisa, it’s Bob. We had drinks the other night at The Standard, you were telling me all about that trip you took to London—you got me so excited about that place I’ve actually been looking into taking a trip there soon.”

LISA: “Hey, Bob. Nice to hear from you.” 

BOB: “Listen, I know you don’t have work on Monday night and you mentioned you love sushi. There’s this amazing sushi place I heard about on the east side that I want to go to. Let’s meet there at seven o’clock and see if it’s as good as everyone says.”

LISA: “Okay, Monday at seven. That sounds good…”

The Alpha Man does not look to women for approval, or to make decisions. He lays out the plan. Women find this type of guy attractive on a deep, instinctual level, because he appeals to their most basic need - to feel secure and protected.

Also notice, when Alpha Bob called her to get a date, he didn’t ask any questions. He spoke in statements.

In The Alpha Rules you will learn how to change the way you converse with women, and this often involves rephrasing questions into statements. This engages her attention, and it enables you to gather information on her without asking the same boring, cliché questions that every other guy asks her - i.e. “Do you come here often?”, “So what do you do for fun?”, “Where do you work?” etc.

Here's an example of a boring question rephrased as an engaging statement:  

Weak Question: “What kind of music do you like?”

Alpha Question: “I can tell a lot about a person by what they’ve got on their Ipod. So what’s the one song that you’ve been playing over and over lately? You’d never guess what mine is.” 

There are endless examples of this. Stop asking cliché questions that every other guy throws at her. “Spin” the questions to make them more original and engaging.

On a final note, here’s a cool tip to end the conversation with.

What do 90% of guys say when they show up to meet a girl for their first date?

“Nice to see you again,” or “Good to see you.”

Dude, that's lame. She spent the last two hours making herself pretty for you, and you’re greeting her the same way you would speak to your dentist.  

Instead, tell her “You look fantastic.”

Watch the smile light up her face. You’ll see how much difference a change in phrasing makes.

As far as the techniques that Alpha Men use to talk to women and build deep, authentic connections, these are just a few quick examples.

Our book The Alpha Rules provides a complete, step-by-step approach to achieving a powerful personal transformation. First, you’ll develop an unstoppable mindset and reframe your belief systems about yourself…and about women. Then, you’ll learn the specific tactics that will enable you to control social situations and succeed with women on a new level. 

Back again soon with more Q&A ...

- Carlos & Dean

Download your copy of THE ALPHA RULES here...